Never Alone

Girls, I don't have any profound encouragement for you today, other than the fact that you are never alone in what you feel.

I was just looking at myself in the mirror, and I realized: I am still just a child. I have lived a lot, and experienced a lot, but I know nothing. I'm a child. I have so much left to experience: so many insecurities, feeling inadequate, not feeling loved. I have a life of confusion and tough decisions ahead of me.

I'm feeling very sad tonight, I'm feeling very inadequate. Sometimes, the things I tell you girls is very hard to live out. So I just want to pause a second and say that I NEVER expect you to be perfect- I fully expect you to be HUMAN- make wrong decisions, experience heartache (both given and received), do the wrong thing- it's going to happen! But I know each and every one of you have such sweet spirits and more times than not, will make the right decision.

I'm not even going to lie to you- life is hard. It has ups and downs. That's okay, but the downs can't consume you.

Right now, someone who I desire to love me as family, doesn't really seem to care about me. It's disappointing, and very hard. It's really hard not to feel inadequate.

I desire to be the kind of person that can say "oh well, if they don't like me, it's their problem" but lately I've been feeling like everything is my fault. I'm frustrated and I don't really know what to do- I try really hard to be encouraging and invested in them and I always get ignored.

I think there's a lesson to be learned in everything- I believe that. And this trial is making me look more like Christ. It's just hard sometimes to know that my worth comes from God. It's so simple to focus on what you CAN see- the insults, the inadequacy, etc., instead of focusing on what we can't always see- the love of God.

Just know you're not alone when you feel this way.
I love you girls and am praying for you.