Insecure? You're not alone!

I don't know if I've told you before, but recently one of the studies I'm doing is one by Beth Moore- "Stepping Up." I highly highly recommend anything by Beth Moore- she is an AMAZING woman.

Today the focus was on Psalm 125:1
"Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion, which sits unmoved forever." (NCV)

The Hebrew word for "trust" in this verse is "batach" which means confident, secure, and sure.

She asked in the study what it means to be confident in God, secure in the Lord, and sure about the Lord?

I think having confidence in Him means completely trusting and knowing that He CAN and WILL do anything!
Security: completely resting in the fact that we are HIS and HE is FOR US!
Sure: knowing that we can run to Him and that we CAN have security and confidence in Him.

This is the part that REALLY stuck out to me tonight.
Everyone has insecurities. It's a fact.
Though insecurity can be rooted in all sorts of experiences, I have a feeling that many of us share the same one. When key people in your formative years were supposed to bring you security but brought insecurity instead, you inherit a tremor in your soul that is impossible to naturally still. Add to it all the time you let yourself down and fail to measure up like I did, and naturally speaking, you're a piece of the earth in a constant quake. -Beth Moore

Girls, I just want to pause and say if someone is constantly insecure (a boyfriend, friends- can't really run away from your parents) as hard as it is, you seriously need to cut them out of your life. You are so important and those insecurities people constantly bring you tear you away from Christ because we all know that more times than not, we wallow in the insecurities instead of letting God teach us. (I'm SO SO SO guilty of this! I'm such a sensitive person and I focus on others instead of God.)

BUT "HE ALONE has proved strong enough to quell our insecurities!!" -Beth Moore

Girls, He is your SAVIOR! He is FOR US! He has saved us from eternal DEATH! He is in NO WAY apathetic about our lives! How beautiful is that?? The God that created the UNIVERSE doesn't just push us aside and say "oh, I'll deal with her later!" No He is a 24/7 God. You cry out, HE HEARS! What an amazing, marvelous God we serve! We are so so blessed. Focus on His promises, His security, His amazing, wonderful, eternal being and PRAISE Him for what He has done!! Gosh, I am so IN LOVE with the LORD GOD ALMIGHTY!

You girls are great, beautiful souls of Christ- I know high school is tough, but keep "Pressing toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 3:14)
I love you and I am praying for you!

Never Alone

Girls, I don't have any profound encouragement for you today, other than the fact that you are never alone in what you feel.

I was just looking at myself in the mirror, and I realized: I am still just a child. I have lived a lot, and experienced a lot, but I know nothing. I'm a child. I have so much left to experience: so many insecurities, feeling inadequate, not feeling loved. I have a life of confusion and tough decisions ahead of me.

I'm feeling very sad tonight, I'm feeling very inadequate. Sometimes, the things I tell you girls is very hard to live out. So I just want to pause a second and say that I NEVER expect you to be perfect- I fully expect you to be HUMAN- make wrong decisions, experience heartache (both given and received), do the wrong thing- it's going to happen! But I know each and every one of you have such sweet spirits and more times than not, will make the right decision.

I'm not even going to lie to you- life is hard. It has ups and downs. That's okay, but the downs can't consume you.

Right now, someone who I desire to love me as family, doesn't really seem to care about me. It's disappointing, and very hard. It's really hard not to feel inadequate.

I desire to be the kind of person that can say "oh well, if they don't like me, it's their problem" but lately I've been feeling like everything is my fault. I'm frustrated and I don't really know what to do- I try really hard to be encouraging and invested in them and I always get ignored.

I think there's a lesson to be learned in everything- I believe that. And this trial is making me look more like Christ. It's just hard sometimes to know that my worth comes from God. It's so simple to focus on what you CAN see- the insults, the inadequacy, etc., instead of focusing on what we can't always see- the love of God.

Just know you're not alone when you feel this way.
I love you girls and am praying for you.

Wait on the Lord: keep your eyes open for His works

Dearest Sisters in Christ,

I hope you have had a wonderful, relaxing spring break! I'm just starting mine and I'm headed to the BEACH tomorrow :). I also would like to apologize to you for not writing as much as I had anticipated- I hope you all understand that it isn't out of lack of love, simply lack of time. Sometimes, life gets crazy. You all know that!

So, I'm just going to be honest with you: I've got way too many devotions going on right now! I know, you can never get too much Jesus-but it is possible to overload yourself with doing different devotions. So, I was just catching up on one that I haven't read in 11 days.

Something that really stuck out to me that I'd like to share with you is the theme of "Resting in My Presence;" "Keep your eyes open for what I am doing"
How easy is it for us to get bogged down in what is going on in our lives (Exhibit A: Kelsey Bell).
It's so so so terribly easy to lose focus of what God is doing AROUND us, IN us, and FOR us, and focus on our obstacles.
We are His-all the time; He never falters.
I think it's a human reaction to gravitate toward the temporal instead of basking in the eternal. Even looking at it in perspective of the world: we gravitate toward people we can't have instead of running to the ones waiting on us with open arms.

Just remember that your King never sleeps; and always holds your hand as you go throughout your day.
I'm just going to be honest, sometimes (Although everyone probably looks at me like I'm a nut) I pretend that I'm literally walking hand in hand with God- yes, that's right! I hold hands with the air. But I truly believe that God holds my hand as I do that- as He does even when I don't.

I know it's hard, but join me in working on keeping our focus on the Lord and His works. We'll walk through it together!

No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us. 1 John 4:12

The Lord directs the steps of the godly.He delights in every detail of their lives.Though they stumble, they will never fall,for the Lord holds them by the hand- Psalm 37:23-24

God’s way is perfect.All the Lord’s promises prove true.He is a shield for all who look to him for protection. Psalm 18:30

Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me. John 14:1

Wait patiently for the Lord.Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord. Psalm 27:14

So God has given both his promise and his oath. These two things are unchangeable because it is impossible for God to lie. Therefore, we who have fled to him for refuge can have great confidence as we hold to the hope that lies before us. 19 This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain into God’s inner sanctuary. 20 Jesus has already gone in there for us. He has become our eternal High Priest in the order of Melchizedek.- Hebrews 6:18-20

Where is your focus?

Girls, I just want to point your attention to the wonder of God for today.
No, I don't have tons of scripture for this, but I just want to talk to you about an experience I had last night.

Yesterday,my day started off with someone not being the nicest to me. I was completely honest with them and told them I needed help with something and then they took it and threw it in my face. They've been mistreating me this whole semester and it's honestly just starting to take a toll on me.

But, the point of this is this:
Last night, I was making myself physically sick to my stomach worried about what they were going to say to me. The more I thought about it, the more upset I became. I finally had an enormous breakdown and I felt so worthless and terribly unloved.

I get back to my room and do my devotion (I had slacked off for a couple of days; but it ended up being a blessing.)
It said "Where we look--where we genuinely fasten our gaze--amid continual life challenges has a tremendous impact on how we feel."

This statement is so true. So, I just want to encourage you today to keep your eyes fixed on the truth. Keep looking toward the blessings in you life instead of the ones who mistreat you-trust me; you'll be much happier that way!

Love y'all :)

Be Content Where You Are (It Will Actually Impact You!)

I just finished my devotion for the day, and I am so broken and emotional from it.
It's about the church.

I'm doing a Beth Moore study: "Stepping Up." It focuses on the Psalms of Ascent.
Today's focus was Psalm 122.

The subject today was focusing on the church and how we should desire to go to church. But to be honest, a lot of the times I don't. And I've been very convicted about that tonight. A lot of the times, I just feel like church misses the point. I desire this deep relationship with the people I come in contact with; I don't want to go to a big church and I can't find one here in Jackson that I'm in love with. I haven't found my "home."

So, I just want to go through today's with you. I hope God meets with you the way He did with me.

Each one of us has a different heritage God uses to fashion us into the servants he wants us to be.-Beth Moore

We are all placed in the exact circumstance, the exact place that we are for a reason-we are to be servants. Servants of the world that doesn't give back most of the time; even Christians don't give back. Sometimes you won't get a response, and I know it can be draining, trust me, it's a struggle I deal with every single day; I give so much of myself and a lot of the time I get ignored, and it's hard. BUT God WILL sustain you!

3 Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God.
4 Whenever I pray, I make my requests for all of you with joy,
5 for you have been my partners in spreading the Good News about Christ from the time you first heard it until now.
6 And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.
7 So it is right that I should feel as I do about all of you, for you have a special place in my heart. You share with me the special favor of God, both in my imprisonment and in defending and confirming the truth of the Good News.
8 God knows how much I love you and long for you with the tender compassion of Christ Jesus.-Philippians 1:3-8

It made me smile to read about how Paul LOVED his fellow Christians; he found joy in them! He LOVED praying for them. This is the relationship I desire; being so intimate with someone that you know exactly what they need prayer for; and I believe that's a huge part of being in the body of believers.

Accepting that no fellowship of believers is perfect, what are a few things you really love about yours?
Are you glad when someone says to you, "Let's go to the house of the LORD?"

In some ways, you and I may think of ourselves as exiles, not because of disobedience to God, but because we are citizens of heaven (Philippians 3:20) with ankles chained to earth.-Beth Moore

This is what the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, the God of Israel, says to all the captives he has exiled to Babylon from Jerusalem:
5 “Build homes, and plan to stay. Plant gardens, and eat the food they produce.
6 Marry and have children. Then find spouses for them so that you may have many grandchildren. Multiply! Do not dwindle away!
7 And work for the peace and prosperity of the city where I sent you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, for its welfare will determine your welfare.”
Jeremiah 29:4-7

What was God's essential point to the exiles in Babylon? (Jer. 29:4-7)

How can we draw a parallel between verse 7, Psalm 122:6, and our own cities?
Pray for peace in Jerusalem.
May all who love this city prosper. (Psalm 122:6)

Most of us have a love-hate relationship with the places we've gotten our mail, but God intended to use every stop to equip us as servants...You may feel like an exile within its city limits, but just as God spoke through the prophet Jeremiah, He wants to prosper you there. His method may not be through all your city can do to edify and serve you. It may be what you can do to build up your city--one neighbor, one teacher, one trash collector at a time. -Beth Moore

How is God using your town or city to equip you to be a humble servant?
How is God using you in your town or city?

Remember- You're here for a reason, and are exactly where you are so that you can be shaped into who you're meant to be to glorify Him.

Letting God Help

Girls, I'm just going to be flat out honest with you.
Today has been a crazy day!
I just want to share with y'all my devotion for today, and leave you with that.

"LET ME HELP YOU through this day. The challenges you face are far too great for you to handle alone. You are keenly aware of your helplessness in the scheme of events you face. This awareness opens up a choice: to doggedly go it alone or to walk with Me in humble steps of dependence. Actually, this choice is continually before you, but difficulties highlight the decision-making process. So, consider it all joy when you are enveloped in various trials. These are gifts from Me, reminding you to RELY on Me ALONE."

Because You have been my help,
Therefore in the shadow of Your wings I will rejoice.
My soul follows close behind You;
Your right hand upholds me.
Psalm 63:7-8

Consider it wholly joyful, my brethren, whenever you are enveloped in or encounter trials of any sort or fall into various temptations.Be assured and understand that the trial and proving of your faith bring out endurance and steadfastness and patience. James 1:2-3

Also, I need you guys to pray for me. I need to have a forgiving, loving heart about something, and I'm struggling. This person is on my last nerve, and I'm honestly ready to punch them. Ha. So pray that I will seek the Lord's face. And please feel free to message me on facebook if you need ANY prayer! Love you girls with all my heart!

Be cheerful givers and Cheerful takers.

I lost someone very dear to my life on Friday.
She was a sweet sweet spirit. She always cared about everyone else and their well being.
I believe with all my heart, her love was a depiction of how we should show Christ's love.

"Every man according as he puposeseth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly or out of necessity: for God loves a cheerful giver." -II Corinthians 9:7

"Remembering without ceasing your work of faith, and labour of love, and patience of hope in our love, and patience of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ, in the sight of God, and our Father." I Thessalonians 1:3

Girls, I believe without a doubt that we are called to love. Invest in the people around you Encourage them, even when they don't respond (yes, that does get VERY challenging at times, and it will sometimes break your heart.) We are supposed to give simply out of love. When we see that people need something, we as Christ's own are supposed to do everything we can to meet that need. I'm not saying that sometimes you don't need to take care of yourself, or even let others meet our needs. Because sometimes we do need to let others care for us and love on us. You're not perfect.

The point I wanted to make with this though is this, be real with people. If you're hurting, don't bottle everything up and think you have to deal with it alone. The Bible tells us that two are better than one. Let other people in. Let people know what's going on so that they can encourage you and build you up and pray for you.
"For brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another." Galatians 5:13
"But encourage one another DAILY.." Hebrews 3:13

And most importantly. Draw near to God
"Draw near to God and he will draw near to you.." James 4:8

God,
I pray for your beautiful daughters. Give them the strength and love to encourage one another and to be encouraged. Fill them with your love; fill them up so much that they overflow into others. Give them love to invest in others. I know sometimes it's hard to be open; it's something I've had to have your help with, but help them and show them that we NEED you first and foremost, and we NEED others to love and encourage us. Grow them daily. They can change the world, I know it. God we love you; you are our strength. You are almighty and all knowing. Help us to follow you without abandon.
We love you, Almighty.

Prayer Warriors

Beautiful Daughters of Christ,

Can I please start by praying for you tonight?

God,
I just want to thank you for these beautiful girls you've placed in my life. Lord, help them to find their worth in you and seek Your face through everything. You are our strength and our shield; You are where our help comes from. Help us to seek shelter under Your wing. Only You can heal us. Open our hearts to what You want us to learn. Give us the strength to love as You have loved us.
In Your Most High Name.

Who of you have ever had someone or something that just poked and prodded at you? That huge thorn in your side? I know I have; I'm actually dealing with one right now.
I'm here to tell you that they never go away. But, if you seek God's face through it all, it will truly give you peace.
The main passage I want to point you guys to tonight is 1 Samuel 1. It's really long, so I'm not going to type it all, but please go read it.

Let me summarize it for you though.
This is the story of Hannah- one of my most favorite women in the Bible (along with Martha and Ruth.) Hannah was married to a man named Elkanah who also had another wife, Peninah. Hannah was barren, which means she couldn't have children, but this was her deepest desire. Peninah, on the other hand, could and she tore Hannah apart about it. She poked and prodded and picked and that wound. Hannah was so depressed that she wouldn't eat and she would just cry.
Well, every year, their family went to Shiloh to the house of the Lord. After they had finished eating, Hannah went to the temple.

I just want to point this out real quick. Let this be an example for our lives. When you're in pain; when someone has hurt you; when you have a desire, take it to the Lord. You can just pray to yourself. But turn to Him first and foremost.

Okay, back to Hannah. Well, like I said she went to the temple to pray. Her soul was grieved and she prayed to the Lord and wept a lot. Her heart was very heavy. She prayed to the Lord (I'm imagining her BEGGING God.) And said "please, please God look at my affliction and think of me! Don't forget about me! I'm begging you to give me a child, and I promise I will give him back to you, just please let me have a child! It's what I desire more than anything in the world. Also, I will never shave his head!" (I totally paraphrased this). She continued praying, and Eli was watching her. Hannah prayed in her heart, and didn't say anything, but she moved her mouth. Because of this, Eli accused Hannah of being drunk! That's right, in the middle of her broken prayer, Eli actually scolds her of being drunk! (Never jump to conclusions, girls. Be understanding and compassionate. We are here to love, not judge.) Hannah answered and told him no, I'm just completely broken and my heart is heavy, I'm not drunk, I'm just pouring my soul out to the Lord My God! Don't see me as a daughter of Belial (A demon in the Bible) I'm just grieved.
Do you think Eli felt as tall as an ant??
Then Eli told her to go in peace. That the God of Israel will answer her prayers.
She was filled with joy, and they both fulfilled their promises.

Loves, satan will ALWAYS be looking for a way to tear you down. He walks about like a roaring lion, seeking to devour someone. (1 Peter 5:8)

Seek God in everything. Pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17).
"Praying always with all pray and supplication in the Spirit" Ephesians 6:18
"Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, shall pass all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus" Philippians

God can conquer your peninah. Trust in Him. Pray always, seek wise council and trust in the Lord.
"But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus" Philippians 4:19.

Getting to Know Me

Precious, Precious Girls.
First off, I just want you to know that I love you all dearly. If any of you need me, feel free to Facebook me, text or call me, or e-mail/snail mail. This blog is for you, so if you have any questions, feel free to ask.

I just want to share my life with you guys, so that you will know everything.

I was saved when I was 5. I've gone through a lot in my short life. I often feel like all I've done is attend funerals. But, I'm getting side tracked. Okay. So I grew up in a Christian home. My parents are wonderful, although, at times, I feel the pressure to be perfect.I only have one grandparent left. That was always a struggle for me. Because I would have to hear everyone talk about their grandparents, and it seemed like the only one I had left didn't really even want me. When I was in the 4th or 5th grade, I was stepped on by a horse. I just went on with my life (after all the bruises healed), but the more active I got playing softball and basketball, the more it hurt. So, the summer of my sophomore year, and the December of my sophomore year, I had 2 surgeries. Well, having to quit playing sports, feeling sorry for myself, and not changing my diet caused me to gain a lot of weight. A struggle I honestly still have a hard time with that. I'm disappointed in myself, I don't view myself as beautiful, and I don't love myself a lot of the time. However, I'm working on losing weight, and praying through it. God truly has compassion and wants to heal us. I never fit in in junior high or high school. No one ever really paid me attention. I had to work through being content with the fact that I was set apart. I got left out. A LOT. I felt inadequate. A LOT. I wondered what was wrong with me and I got very very discouraged.. February 1, junior year, a friend/classmate died in a drunk driving accident. That hit everyone hard and rocked my faith. However, the thing that rocked me most was June 14th, when Whitten died. It was just hard to accept that because I had been told my entire life that God was a God of miracles, and I prayed EVERY DAY for a miracle, and He didn't answer yes to that prayer. Girls, let me tell you that I was very angry at God, and I didn't have a very good relationship with Him at all, for nearly 2 years.. It's hard for me to admit this because I know it may let a few of you down.. Well this last semester I came to college, and a senior girl complete ripped me apart. S The combination of that and being very far away from God resulted in deep depression. I wasn't myself. The Godly relationship Jeremy and I had turned into a relationship we were only in for the physicality, like kissing (BAD IDEA). We fought a lot. I felt worthless a lot. But God showed me that there is true redemption. We are redeemed and we are washed, white as snow! Girls, I've been through almost everything you're going through and I want to support you! I love you so very much.